Wednesday, June 29, 2011

"Whatever, I saw you wearing a visor doing yoga in the backyard last week."

Two words: singles. mixer. Yes - when you and your coworker decide on a Friday morning that "being yourself" at a singles mixer on Saturday night sounds like a GREAT yourself a favor and don't RSVP. So this is the story of me and two of my friends. One is a guy and one is a girl. The guy recieved an invitation to a singles mixer through his roommate's place of work but said roommate could not go because she is not single. So the guy convinced me and my friend to go.  We all decide it would be so fun - we wouldn' try - we wouldn't be nervous - we would just be ourselves and make it fun. This is all great in theory. I picked up the guy first on Saturday night and he had a look of dread on his face while holding a drink. He looked at me and said, "I dont want to do this, I've already started drinking." This was a relief to me as I hadn't been able to eat and felt nervous all afternoon. So then we picked up our friend and she was wearing the cutest white summer dress holding a bottle of wine. She got in the car and said, "Guys - I haven't been able to do anything all day...I've already had two glass of wine." We were clearly in great company. So we parked downtown and walked to what we believed to be the location of this singles mixer. Unfortunately, there are three condos owned by the same group that are all named the same thing located within about 3 blocks of each other. There was a guy in the lobby of the first building we walked into trying to get up to the party. I quickly realized he was trying to get to the same place we were. From his accent I could also tell he was not from the U.S. We all introduced ourselves and found out he was from Greece.  He spent most of the time talking on the phone to someone attempting to explain that he was clearly in the wrong place and yelling in the phone "No...street as in streeeeeet. Street as in streeeeeeet." The girl and I were leaning against the wall laughing nervously. Then another guy walked in that looked like he had just gotten off of the trail (showered but in all of his REI gear) and he was in his 40's. Awwweeesooome. Anyways - through a series of events we found the correct place and it was an AMAZING condo --- on the top floor of the building with a wrap around balcony on the corner of the building with a great view. The breeze was nice that night and there were two garage door like windows that opened to the outside. We mingled with people then met our favorite person of the night: John. See below.

Now look closely. Those are kitty cats...not wolves. And he was also wearing a fanny pack. He was a genuinely nice guy that was an "urban farmer." I mean...he really is an urban farmer. This conversation started out with an argument about how fresh eggs are the BEST thing in the entire world. A fresh fried egg will LITERALLY change your life. Lots of yelling commenced over whether or not you could actually poach an egg.  In the meantime our guy friend was trying to keep from vomitting all over us as he cannot stand eggs -- although he didn't show it during the conversation. The next thing we discussed: aquaponics...the use of catfish poop to hydrate the land in the midst of a drought. (These things really happened.) Other things discovered: the difference between urban farming and rural farming is that urban farming is just farming on a smaller scale. ..... ... .... ... You dooooon't say?!?
While talking to the guy wearing the wolf shirt about his fanny pack, John's roommate Ricky, who was also there ran back into the conversation and said, "I JUST TRADED A FEW EGGS FOR A FREE HAIRCUT!!!" This somehow led to a discussion about John wearing a visor a lot. Ricky apparently hates the visor and thinks it's about as on par with John's practice of yoga to which John replied, "Whatever, I saw you wearing a visor doing yoga in the backyard last week." Once that sentence was uttered I knew I had the title of my next blog post. The rest of the mixer was mostly like the beginning.
My friends and I left after about two hours of being at the party...we then went to a nice outside casual bar and proceeded to eat queso and discuss the following items: the amazing, awesome, infallible document that is the US Constitution, George Washington, George Washington's teeth, George Washington's death, George Washington's REAL death, was George Washington a freemason?, George Washington's SECOND marriage to Martha, Israel, religion, the book of Revelation, the UN, the IMF...and Obama. My friend said she woke up and said, "Did we really discuss how awesome the US Constitution is for that long?"

Yes. Yes we did. I will now leave you with a quote that she sent me that sums up our night of singles mixers and amazing conversations:

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

"Sexy, beach hair"

So much to tell you about. My cousin got married and I was lucky enough to be able to stand up with her as a bridesmaid during their ceremony. But alas that is not subject of this post...I realized I needed to blog about a certain girl that I sat next to on the plane on the way to Indy when I got in the car with my cousin Meghan and said..."Oh, I sat next to this girl on the plane...and ugggh...she had a voice that carried." The light went on in my head and I knew I had a good blog.
So my mom and I get on the plane in Chicago...and unfortunately I was the person that picked the seat next to this girl. I sat in the middle and my mom was in the aisle seat. The girl was approximately 95 pounds, in her late 20's and was pretty.  My mom asked her where she worked and she told us how she manages Aveda stores (right mom?) in the Chicago area...but lives outside of Indianapolis with her fiance....but is from Ohio. Ok - so at this point in the conversation I'm liking her...she is nice enough...until she started talking about how she works 16 hour days and doesn't eat her entire shift because she is so busy that she does not notice she's hungry. Riiiiiight. I have a busy job too, girl - so does my mom....I still find plenty of time to shove approx. 4-6 cookies in my mouth regularly while on the job. (Exhibit A) Anyways, my mom started talking about tons of hair product things with this girl. I think the highlight was when the girl reached across me to touch my mom's hair and tell her what kind of product to use. My other highlight was when she was gabbing about how she gets, "sexy, beach hair" without washing her hair for a week straight by using some product...all this while her head is right in front of Lucas Oil Stadium on our descent into Indy...the whole time I'm trying to look around her head secretly yelling in my mind, "GIRL, MOVE YOUR BIG HEAD - THERE'S A FOOTBALL STADIUM TO SEE"...and she just kept moving...and with that....there went my chance to see the stadium from above.  *Sigh*. 
On a side note - my mom may be the best person to travel with...she is a counselor by trade and whoever sits next to her hits the JACKPOT. And you know why? Because they get approximately 1-2 hours of FREE counseling while on the airplane. And they all want it. On our flight back to Austin from Chicago (while both of us were on about 24 hours of no sleep I might add) I would doze in and out of hearing this man tell his life story to my mom...his dad's problem with alcohol...his wife's family issues. I mean...she has a gift. Start praying for an open seat on Southwest next to my mother now!